In the real world, there actually is a Fenton Litwiller. And that goes for you, too, Father O’Hanlon.” “I’m Fenton Litwiller, chairman of GreedCorp, and I’m giving you filthy urchins ten days to vacate or I’ll have my Pinkertons tan your impoverished hides with their billy clubs. Like the guy who tries to foreclose on an orphanage. Why won’t you let me die?”įenton Litwiller sounds like the name of a caricatured villain from some 1940s movie. An’ I know the Deep State got one, so my first act as centaur will be to steal they time machine, go back to 2020, and make Trump win. Ain’t no way to change that…unless we get a time machine. “We all know Trump won Cali by a million points, but they stole it from him. Nick used to have a big TV series but now he make scale doin’ Ben Shapiro movies one after another after another after another.” Here’s my friend Nick Searcy to explain why you gotta vote for me. “I’m DeTwangy ‘Stank-azz’ Odom, and I gonna be California’s next senadder because I’m all about family values…just ask my twenty baby mamas. So unless Schiff or Porter can fake a 23andMe to show Ubangi ancestry, they’re out.Īnd count on California Republicans to run a black of their own, in yet another massive grift to shear gullible donors for an unwinnable race. After Newsom appointed a Latino to fill Harris’ seat when she became VP, the party promised that the next senator would be black. They should save their hats the wear and tear. strip joint.īoxer quit in 2017 to make room for Kamala Harris (who’s blown so many shofars she’s an honorary cantor), and last week Feinstein announced that she won’t seek reelection in 2024.ĭems Adam Schiff and Katie Porter have thrown their hats in the ring for Feinstein’s seat. Tom Campbell was favored to beat her, but in the GOP primary, bell-bottomed dago Sonny Bono challenged Campbell, splitting the moderate vote so that “family-values Jew” Bruce Herschensohn won instead…only to then be exposed as a hypocrite after he was caught having his shofar blown at an L.A. While Feinstein was a known quantity, Boxer was a long shot. In 1992 two female Democrats-Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein-became first-time senators. The Week’s Most Spaying, Slaying, and Presidents’-Daying HeadlinesĬalifornia’s 31-year “year of the woman” is finally coming to an end (that was one looooong year).
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